With sun in her eyes: Words written after too much thinking.

With sun in her eyes

Friday, July 4, 2008

Words written after too much thinking.

The world's stuck, somewhere between clarity and confusion. Theres no backwards or forwards, just this. Wheels spinning in dirt that isnt even there. You cant lose what you cant forget, and you cant forget what never happened.

It isnt enough to realize that things have to change. That something needs to be done. Making lists doesnt matter, unless you actually begin to check things off. And not the odd issue here and there.. something of substance.

There are questions that wont be answered, that cant be answered. Its that simple. But theres a danger, too, in remaining silent. There are times where nothing makes sense or feels right. And the wrong things are said. Other times, nothing gets said or done. Theres no balance. No middle of the road.

You can blame people. You can list the reasons why, and why not. You can detail the fight (figuratively, metaphorically) thats gotten you from here to there, and the one thats kept rooted to the same spot. But when it all comes down to it, its you. Its your life and mistakes. And even the most carefully constructed smile cannot hide the things that lie beneath.

In short, Ive become rather pensive after ystd drama, and I in my fit of narcissistic, soul-dwelling self-evisceration, I've come to a few conclusions. And here they are, thrown together in a heap. They're in no particular order, and the coherence is relative.

Jealousy happens in strange fits, whenever you least expect it. Realize it. Acknowledge it. And then swallow it. Don't let it consume you.
Everyone has an idea of how your life should be or go. This does not entitle them to shove these opinions in your face as if they are revelations from the Divine. Take all of these ideas with a grain of salt, and don't completely ignore what they're saying. A wise person pays attention to everything, even when he/she doesn't want to.
Love doesn't solve everything; if you're doing it right, it gets messy. If it's too simple, too easy, RUN. One of you is lying. Or faking. Or both.
Indecision solves nothing; in fact, it creates more problems, if you've got half a brain cell and an ounce of cognizance.
In life, you will disappoint others. But in the end, that doesn't matter. Because you've got to live with yourself.
In the same vein, you will let yourself down. Probably when you shouldn't. You'll cave and crack. You'll be stupid and follow your heart. You'll do the wrong thing for the right reason. You'll forget yourself. But at the end of the day? Forgive yourself. Give it a shot. You just might like it.

its so strange what a year can bring about in the sense of changes, and the more i think about it the more i realize this to be fact.

as the years have swept past me, I realize how much ive gone through that makes me the person i am today.t he people i love and care about carry my world in their eyes, and the more i think about this life ive lived, the more i appreciate every person who has been given to me. At times it has felt like i could never truly understand or appreciate love from a friend without the pain from another; when one broke my heart, another always swept me up under their wing and made me realize that even when i am falling down, I have people that care about me. I have a life that has been blessed and filled with opportunity, and there is no end in sight=)

posted by Jessamine @ 12:54 PM

About Me