| Thursday, November 29, 2007 |
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up and down.. up and down...
emotion roller coaster i will say..
Mandai Crematorium tmr.. another crying session..
our last goodbye to Jeremy...
thanks to those who stood by...
loves~
____
i hate crying in the public... ruining the make up is one thing..
ruining my "strong" image in front of the other is the shit..
haha and so much for trying to portray a strong image..
just another wussy who cry behind close door...
i havent been a good girl.. im reverting to before.. which of cos is BAD BAD BAD...
*breathe in breathe out.. donte get stress get you jess..
i need to talk to ziwei.. i need to talk to her again... the last time i pour out to her was when i wanted to _ but obviously i've failed and the stress is fucking making the road even more bumpy and far.... when i put on weight, i have period and im having period now.. thus i put on weight.. mommy will be overjoy if i told her that im having my menses..
and speaking of mommy, i think im really a horrible daughter.. not that i donte love her.. i love her so so much that it pains me everytime i look back to what she had put me thru. it doesnt make sense.. the more i see her, the more i feel the pain and the more i pull away from her... and now, the only reason why im contacting her is because money is concern.. but i do love u mom, i rlly do=( |
posted by Jessamine @ 1:34 AM  |
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i couldnt sleep at all last night.. i was tearing and tearing and tearing... its weird because i know him less than 2 weeks but i know and i can see and feel that he is a fucking nice person... like what Rachel said.. he has repaid his karma and thus he is ready to leave..
the moment i close my eye.. i see the scene right in front of me..
having rachel and mel crying non stop arent helping at all.. 24 yrs old and he is gone.. the handsome, cute and nice guy whom everyone love... i remember his eyes sparkle when the dragonboat topic was brought up and tt was how much he love db..
disbelief... |
| posted by Jessamine @ 11:04 AM |
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singapore team.. jeremy. the first on the right..
"Cambodia dragonboat mishap:5 S'poreans still missing"
of the 22 people in the boat when it capsized, 17 of them were rescured..
and 5 were missing...
i was watching movie when i received the shocking sms from rachel telling me that jeremy had met with a mishap in the international race in Cambodia.. and he was like.... MISSING.. damn.. the news were kinda shocking.. everyone was crying... ok i didnt, cos i just met him like 2 weeks ago at zouk.. a really cute and handsome guy... the first time and well.. hopefully not the last... althou i didn cry but the news sort of hit me.. and i started thinking "fuck.. life is short.. so live everyday like its the last day"... the reuben guy whom the db girls went gaga over was one of the missing guy too... no strict life vests rule in overseas races.. wtf is that?!
gosh.. and i still cant believe that jeremy is missing..
everyone is just hoping for miracle now..
ok fuck.. latest news...
PHNOM PENH: The bodies of all five Singaporeans were recovered from the Tonle Sap River in Cambodia's capital Phnom Penh on Sunday morning, following an accident involving a Singapore dragon boat team.
They have been identified as 20-year-old Chee Wei Cheng, 24-year-old Jeremy Goh Tze Xiong, 31-year-old Stephen Loh Soon Ann, 23-year-old Reuben Kee En Rui and 27-year-old Poh Boon San.
dead.. wtf... they were all so young... life is so fucking unfair...
and damn.. im crying so badly now... goshh...
may they rest in peace... and god bless..
For those who love jeremy,treat him as a brother or sister,pls go to this blog n put down ur feeling. http://rememberingjerbroni.blogspot.com/ |
| posted by Jessamine @ 3:32 AM |
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| Friday, November 23, 2007 |
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letting my situations get the best of me.
getting hurt is my biggest fear.
the one fear that holds me back from loving freely, from trusting people...
this fear is always biting me in the ass
sucks..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAMPAM!!!!
 i think the monsterteers have the habit of buying erotic presents for each other..
first it was the dicky lamp, then it was the red lingerie for pampam,
custom made panties and lastly.. PINK LACY BRA..(accompanied by cupcakes and bday card) still along the erotic side thou.. nonetheless happy bday sweetie! |
| posted by Jessamine @ 1:16 AM |
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who fall and slip while cooking instant noodle at 4am??
jessamine did.. i never see so much blood( other than menses) |
| posted by Jessamine @ 4:50 AM |
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| Sunday, November 18, 2007 |
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im disgusted with myself.. i told myself to start over again but yet i ruin times and again...
telling ziwei the truth was initially to make things better but now, i feel the pressure and the obligation to "do better" because she had been too kind and too patient with me.. im guilty of not producing results that she hope to see.. and now the pressure is giving me hell time and yeap, everything has back fire.. but no, im still not giving up.. nonetheless ziwei has been helping me alot.. thanks ziwei! you definitely make the road easier.. and donte worry, the pressure is not from u but from myself..
im spending ALOT and i mean ALOT.. im lucky tt im not born with *er hem* cos girl doesnt need to serve the nation.. otherwise i doubt i will survive with the mere 400 bucks a month.. gosh.. thank god.. but i do salute those who enjoy serving ns.. and tmr im accompanying someone to extend his mc so tt he need not go back to camp.. how ironic.. LOL..
think i've got not much interesting to blog about recently.. my life sucks and is boring..
club eat sch slp... yawnz.... and when i club, i woke up 6pm the next morning so my weekend is usually spend recovering from hangover and all.. wasted..
ok bye! |
| posted by Jessamine @ 3:01 PM |
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| Saturday, November 10, 2007 |
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"own time, own target" as quoted from rach..
"remember the number 1 club rules, cute guys only" quoted from me..
"so many wolves, so little sheep" as quoted from mel.
we all had a good laugh at all the quotes..
last night was hell of a great time..
all started out with 3 person(rachel, me and mel) and the group just get bigger, bigger and BIGGER..
zouk tonight again! HAHA..
the party animal is out.. shit.. and so who say im saturated again? |
| posted by Jessamine @ 9:44 PM |
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| Friday, November 9, 2007 |
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many told me that im fickle minded and i couldn't agree more... for example i have been thinking of the stupid hair extension for the longest time ever... but u see, isnt it ironic like i was the one who cut my mane away and now i want it back.. and everyone is getting hair extension and it's no longer special anymore.. jessamine likes to be special=) morever according to the person( haha yeah i alrdy went down to check it out) its can last ard 3 months but according to my friends it can last only one month so whats the point right??? but its so pretty and i can have super long hair without having to wait for a million yrs right?? yet again its kinda stupid to waste hundreds of dollars and then poof gone in 60seconds1/3 months... now u see why they called me fickled minded? hah..
ok and im back to before.. biological clock screwed.. i sleep at 10 IN THE MORNING and wakes up at 5 in the evening.. shiok.. but when school reopen( next monday), im dead..
i will go back to bed catch some more slp because its friday AKA phu(ture)day!!!!! haha i know its sounds corny.. so shut up... |
| posted by Jessamine @ 4:36 PM |
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| Wednesday, November 7, 2007 |
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You're that guy
that no matter how many more guys I go through,
I'll always have a thing for you.
ahzhigi
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| posted by Jessamine @ 3:53 AM |
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| Tuesday, November 6, 2007 |
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*30 Reasons Girls Should Call It A Night*
1. You have absolutely no idea where your friends are.
2. You have absolutely no idea where your car is... wait did you bring your car??
3. You've become convinced that dancing with your arms overhead, shaking your ass, and yelling WOO HOO is truly the sexiest dance move EVER.
4. You've suddenly decided you want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe you can do it (bitch...i ain't playin...).
5. You start singing 80's songs at the top of your lungs and showing off your dance skills to the car next to you.
6. Your bladder becomes amazingly full every 10 minutes.
7. You sit down and the room and people around you start spinning profusely.
8. Your slurring your words so bad, that nobody can understand what your saying and then when they say what, you can't even remember what you were talking about.
9. You've come up with the brilliant idea that you can create less hassle on your friends by just "sleeping over" at a your guy friend's house.
10. You see beers all over a table so you lift each one up until you find one half full and chug it when no one is looking.
11. You talk to stupid skanks you really hate and tell them you really do like them and that ya’ll should be friends.
12. You pass out at the party. And the next morning there is writing all over your face and limbs. (If you pass out with your shoes on, you are fair game).
13. You find yourself peeing behind random buildings.
14. You become overly enthusiastic when someone offers you $20 dollars to make out with your friend (when you totally would have done it for free).
15. The man you're flirting with used to be your TA.
16. You've suddenly taken up smoking, and become really good at it.
17. Every conversation starts with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."
18. Your make-up is smeared all over your face and somehow you have still managed to make out with 5 different guys. very classy.
19. The urge to take off articles of clothing becomes strangely overwhelming.
20. Your eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own, so you keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
21. You yell at the bartender, because you think he cheated you by giving you lemonade, but that's just because you can no longer taste the vodka.
22. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like the bathroom floor.
23. Your hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
24. You begin to think you're a really good dancer and anyone within arms reach becomes your new dancing partner.
25. You've taken off your shoes because you believe it's their fault that you're having problems walking.
26. You can't feel your phone vibrating in your pocket and then when you look to see what time it is, you find you have 7 missed calls from someone you
"supposedly" met at the last party.
27. One minute you're strutting your stuff, the next minute you're rolling on the ground, and you can't seem to remember the transition.
28. You can no longer feel your face or limbs so you flail your body about to try to regain feeling.
29. You call your ex-boyfriend 1,000 times and leave lots of really nice voicemails saying that ya'll need to hang out more.
30. You start hugging strange people and having great converstations with strangers at whataburger
this is so funny..and its kinda true... i was laughing my ass off when diana send me this... AAHA and now ur turn to laugh.. |
| posted by Jessamine @ 8:35 PM |
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| Sunday, November 4, 2007 |
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and when i couldnt find anyone to turn to... i turn to vincent...
the craziest guy yet the one who always manage to provide me with the wisest( and sometimes lamest) advice..
vincent has his own weird ass way of bringing me to my senses..
first by making me hit rock bottom then second bring me up again... his unique way of consoling...weird as it might sound but it works..
a risky move i will say...
but hey dude thanks for ur "unique" advice.. at least ur advice was the most contributing and useful one=)
i appreciated it!!!!! |
| posted by Jessamine @ 4:11 AM |
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| Friday, November 2, 2007 |
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im coughing so freaking badly... still sick... and it sucks so much..
i've missed 3 classes out of 4 this week.. ALL due to sickness and im not lying..
competition tmr and i will have to cross my finger and pray that i will recover in 12 hrs time..
professional profiling poster half done and presentation is on monday...
i think im so dead this time..
no clubbing tonight.. NO CLUBBING TONIGHT.. |
| posted by Jessamine @ 4:43 PM |
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